[PDF] Download ✓ We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle | by ✓ Celia Rivenbark

By Celia Rivenbark | Comments: ( 667 ) | Date: ( May 26, 2020 )

Why couldn t the Sopranos survive living down South Simple You can t shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes.What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce When daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in their pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks Again.What is the Southern woman s opinion of a new fat viWhy couldn t the Sopranos survive living down South Simple You can t shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes.What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce When daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in their pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks Again.What is the Southern woman s opinion of a new fat virus theory Bring it on We ve got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on.In this wickedly funny follow up to her bestselling novel Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the South she loves, the land of Mama and them, precious and dahlin , and mommies who mow Y all come back now, you hear


  • Title: We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle
  • Author: Celia Rivenbark
  • ISBN: 9780312312442
  • Page: 259
  • Format: Paperback

About Author:

Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation s number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats Her grandparents house, just across the ditch, had the first indoor plumbing in Teachey, NC and family lore swears that people came from miles around just to watch the toilet flush Despite this proud plumbing tradition, Celia grew up without a washer and dryer On every Sunday afternoon of her childhood, while her mama rested up from preparing a fried chicken and sweet potato casserole lunch, she, her sister and her daddy rode to the laundromat two miles away to do the weekly wash It was at this laundromat, where a carefully lettered sign reminded customers that management was NOT RESONSIBLE for lost items, that Celia shirked resonsibility her own self and snuck away to read the big, fat Sunday News Observer out of Raleigh, NC By age 7, she d decided to be a newspaper reporter Late nights, she d listen to the feed trucks rattle by on the highway and she d go to sleep wondering what exotic cities those noisy trucks would be in by morning Richmond Atlanta Charlotte Their headlights crawling across the walls of her little pink bedroom at the edge of a soybean field were like constellations pointing the way to a bigger life, a better place, a place where there wasn t so much turkey shit everywhere After a couple of years of college, Celia went to work for her hometown paper, the Wallace, NC Enterprise The locals loved to say, as they renewed their perscriptions, that you can eat a pot of rice and read the Enterprise and go to bed with nothing on your stomach and nothing on your mind Mebbe But Celia loved the Enterprise Where else could you cover a dead body being hauled out of the river alcohol was once again a contributing factor in the morning and then write up weddings in the afternoon After eight years, however, taking front page photos of the publisher shaking hands with other fez wearing Shriners and tomatoes shaped like male ginny talia was losing its appeal Celia went to work for the Wilmington, NC Morning Star after a savvy features editor was charmed by a lead paragraph in an Enterprise story about the rare birth of a mule Her mother was a nag and her father was a jackass The Morning Star was no News and Observer but it came out every day and Celia got to write weddings for 55,000 readers instead of 3,500, plus she got a paycheck every two weeks with that nifty New York Times logo on it After an unfortunate stint as a copy editor her ass expanded to a good six ax handles across Celia started writing a weekly humor column that fulfilled her lifelong dream of being paid to be a smart ass Along the way, she won a bunch of press awards, including a national health journalism award hilarious when you consider she s never met a steamed vegetable she could keep down Having met and married a cute guy in sports, Celia found herself happily knocked up at age 40 and, after 21 years, she quit newspapering to stay home with her new baby girl After a year or so, she started using Sophie s two hour naps to write a humor column from the mommie front lines for the Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C The column continues to run weekly and is syndicated by the McClatchy Tribune News Services.In 2000, Coastal Carolina Press published a collection of Celia s columns A Southeast Book Sellers Association best seller, Bless Your Heart, Tramp was nominated for the James Thurber Prize in 2001 David Sedaris won He wins everything uscmillan author celiar



Comments We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle

  • Thequeenoftofu

    I'm one of those "Cover Judgers" who absolutely does not agree that you can't judge a book by one. I happened upon this one completely by accident and am so glad that I did. I think that this is one of those books that if you're from the South or you have Southern relatives, you will laugh hysterically because you can totally relate to this stuff. If you're not, or you don't, there's a good chance that you'll probably be thinking, "What the hell?"


  • Dixie Diamond

    Okay, while I agree that I would probably inflict bodily harm on a husband for throwing out my coupons, I'm totally not with her on the importance of dressing small children to impress.She's just not that funny. The events that she tries to build up into humorous, relatable, anecdotes aren't interesting or significant enough to stand on their own. You feel like she's writing soap bubbles, trying to make her dull, sheltered, middle-American life seem colorful and herself and her under-educated, s [...]


  • Kristin

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!Ah am from South Carolina, lived here mah whole life. Ah know some of these here people. Ah might even resemble summa this. :)Don't take this book too seriously (or yourself for that matter). It's a joke, people, it's also a social commentary.but it's a joke!!


  • Shelley

    This was one of the funniest books I have read in a long time. I guess it amused me because I can relate to so many of the stories. Living in Alabama, I can see these people in my own town and at my local grocery store. The moms are the same moms at my kid's school. It was just too great! Some of the stories made me laugh so hard I though sweet tea would spew out my nose because I was sure she was discussing my family members.Great quick read and highly entertaining. Anyone who wants a peek into [...]


  • Nitrorockets

    Just started this book. I love this author already and would love to go and enjoy some good food together. I love these from chapter 4: "Southern women are, frankly harder working. We are obsessively devoted to horticulture and far more aware of natural beauty. We aren't ashamed to have dirt from the garden embedded in the prongs of our 3-carat diamond engagement rings.""A Yankee friend of mine once remarked that the one thing she couldn't understand was why so many Southern women mow their own [...]


  • Mom

    This book has helped me get through some rough days at work. It's very funny and sometimes expresses what I am feeling very well, at other times we disagree but we can still be friends. Our differences remind us that we live in this wonderful country that allows us to think and feel what we want.


  • Karen

    I'll bet that anyone who is knee high to a grasshopper could write a better book--if the person really wanted to waste time pushin pencils and paper. Looks like the author had a handful of good quips and without shame, stretched it into a watered down stream of consciousness exercise. It was marketing genius in creating the book title and equally catchy chapter titles that probably drew folks to buy it. Her hipster self betrays her nonSoutherness when she discusses arugula ("natch"). Ha! Got fan [...]


  • Kelly

    And this, my friends, is exactly why I liked it:"I thought this was going to be a book about the south and how cute and funny we are. It's not. It's about the new south that has had the south beaten out of it and homogenized beyond recognition by someone who has been not raised by parents but by a big screen TV, magazines and what she has bought into that passes as women's lib. This unnecessarily potty mouthed woman has every tired joke, reference and scenario that you have heard before. The boo [...]


  • Jennifer

    Another excellent collection of essays from Celia Rivenbark. I never get tired of her sarcastic sense of humor and blunt honesty. Fun and easy read!


  • Crystal Dunn

    When Stacey tweeted that she had just read a book called "We're Just Like You, Only Prettier," I replied back, I need to read that. She said the book was hilarious and that I could borrow it. After doing a little research, I found out that Celia Rivenbark is a NC Native, and grew up in Duplin County. If you haven't figured it out yet, I love local authors, so I was excited to find another one to add to the list.The book, subtitled "Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle," is a collection of h [...]


  • Little

    There are book club discussion questions at the back of this book. Seriously? Rivenbark is basically a Southern female Dave Barry. The whole book is comprised of amusing little essays. If this is your book club pick, I'm certain your book club is more interested in wine, snacks, and gossip than actually discussing a book. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the essays well enough. I chuckled a few times and smiled a number of others. The essays are also short enough that you can gobble one down easily [...]


  • Amy

    The title made me laugh out loud at the library so I picked it up. I was further heartened by the endorsement on the front from Haven Kimmel (author of A Girl Named Zippy, which is hilarious). It was funny overall, and parts did make me giggle. She uses a lot of southern speak, which is hard for me to understand at times. Her titles of the chapters were almost funnier than what was in it, like "Stop watching your plasma TV and start selling your plasma!" and "And what did you have for breakfast [...]


  • Jeanette Cupcake

    i LOVED the first half of this book. I just wanted to buy a duble wide, a fried sickers, move down to atlanta and meet matty and nikki at the waffle house. but the second half of the book seemed to really stray from southerners to just people and things in general. i felt like she lost her purpose, or got writers block half way through. loved loved loved the first half. totally laughed out loud while reading it!!!


  • Danielle Allen

    Rivenbark is full of hilarious southern “charm” aka biting and incredibly entertaining sarcasm. Unfortunately her books aren’t timeless – some chapters are relevant but others are outdated – such as criticisms of Anna Nicole Smith’s tv show. I recommend that you find one of her newer books – I’m going to, because she seriously cracks me up even if some of her material was (as a polite southern belle might put it) “vintage.”


  • Lindsay

    Love love love this book. It's absolutely hilarious, and coming from a small Southern town, I am totally able to relate to the majority of the stories she tells in this book. It kept me laughing the whole time. Celia Rivenbark is truly talented and keeps a conversational tone throughout the whole book.


  • Ashley Scott

    This, too, earns the descriptor of "fart knocker". And because Miz Celia is a southerner (and by golly don't you forget it!), she'll know exactly what I think of this book and her writing style when I tut and click my tongue and say "bless her heart".


  • Abby

    I firmly believe that anywhere this woman's pen touches will turn to gold.


  • Shandra

    Was reading this aloud to my wife. Hilarious! Had to return it to the library before we finished, but I do want to get it back again!


  • Megan Bodwell

    Absolutely hilarious! I had so many laugh-out-loud-by-myself moments while reading this!


  • Peaches

    This book is hilarious; it's full of voice and narrates the internal stream of consciousness on various topics; however, the beginning was dull and seemed a bit too much of a "how to" book, so luckily I'm not one to put down a book after the first few pagesually. Still, even some of the "how to" advice had some merit, such as how to be more "white trash": "Take to ending every declarative statement with 'Yeah, it does.' (Alternate acceptable WT: 'I heard that.')" (5).As previously stated, the vo [...]


  • Daniella

    Meh.I'll be honest: I picked this book because of the title. I know nothing about Celia Rivenbark, I have no interest in humor columns, generally, and I certainly am not a fan of chick lit. But I've been reading a lot of fiction lately, and writing a lot of fiction, so I wanted something a little different to help change things up a bit. I figured this book would fit the bill, and after all, it has been sitting on my shelf for over year, taunting me with that title. I'm a sucker for catchy, uniq [...]


  • Stephanie

    This came from the box of books a friend gave me this winter. It's probably not something I would've picked up on my own, but I'm glad I did. Celia Rivenbark is an absolute scream.Rivenbark is a columnist, and she's got a crazy, wild, self-deprecating sense of humor with a uniquely Southern flair. Waxing poetic on such topics as Southern food, preschool, hair and nails, clothing, family get-togethers, aging, and what other mothers must think of her, she'll have you rolling on the floor and choki [...]


  • Chris

    I can say with easy certainty that if I ever met the author of this book I would dislike her, intensely. How can I know that for sure? I know tons of women just like her and can't stand any of them. She's so smug and ass backwards elitist that it made me want to throttle her half the time. It boils down to the idea that she's not hoity toity so she's better than everyone else. Somehow not eating caviar and Grey Poupon while driving a single child around in a gas guzzling SUV makes her the greate [...]


  • HeavyReader

    Wow! I ended up liking this book more than I thought I would. It was another one of those bought-at-a-thrift-store-for-ten-cents-in-the-summer-of-2015 books. I read it on a few hours on a rainy Sunday afternoon when it was too cold and wet to leave the van to cook, much less work.It was a nice enough way to pass the time. I was worried that it wouldn’t really be funny, even though it was supposed to be funny, but I was pleasantly surprised. I laughed aloud while reading this book. I laughed al [...]


  • Marissa

    I was really hoping to be laughing out loud a lot, and I sort of chuckled a couple times, but this wasn't as funny as I was hoping it would be. On the plus side, I forgot that this book was from a southern perspective in many of the chapters, showing how women everywhere have the same complaints about children, gossip, men and life in general. But there were a lot of phrases and references I didn't get. I had my handy-dandy smartphone next to me to look up random southern preachers or bathing su [...]


  • Eva Leger

    I liked Stop Dressing You Six Year Old better than this but this was funny also. I liked it enough to read Bless Your Heart as soon as I get it. I like Rivenbark's sense of humor and I also like that the book was broken up into short essays which makes it easy to put down and pick back up again later. I read some reviews that mentioned her "making fun of motherhood" and I have to completely disagree with any and all of those. She's taking a serious situation and making fun WITH it, not OF it. Sh [...]


  • Marilyn Lagier

    This was a rather hilarious book, especially as I have Southern heritage. And though I haven't lived in the South, other than a few days visit, it was just as though I was reading about people whom I knew. Ironically, the funniest chapter probably was the one about saving things in the refrigerator and washing out bread bags and ziplock bags and reusing them. I had just been involved with cleaning a fridge of a very close relative and everything Celia Rivenbark said hit squarely at home. So for [...]


  • Amber Martin

    I wish every time someone asked me what it was like in the South that I could just stick Celia Rivenbark between us. Like some sort of humor filled human shield that could explain things in her own hilarious way. I was laughing so hard that tears rolled down my face (and that was only into chapter 2)! I'm from a small Southern town and could relate to pretty much this entire book. The chapter about "Baby Born" had me in stitches seeing as how I had one of those (Only the cheaper Big Lots version [...]


  • Stacey

    This collection of essays had its moments. The title was hysterical. The first essay about how white trash has become chic was also pretty funny. However, there were some essays that weren't funny and didn't really resonate. I've lived all over the south my entire life. I've know southerners of all socio-economic stations. Some of those folks she describes in this book have to be a myth to make southerners look bad - think dating ones cousin and eating dirt.


  • Brandy

    This book was kind of "meh". She tried to pull off portraying herself as both damaged and superior to everybody, which got annoying fast. Her other book "Bless Your Heart, Tramp" was funnier.The other issue is this book fails several times to have offensive humor and just goes for straight up offensive.I gave it 3 stars because it's readable; there are a few laughs here and there, it's just not the best the author can do.


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  • [PDF] Download ✓ We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle | by ✓ Celia Rivenbark
    259 Celia Rivenbark
  • thumbnail Title: [PDF] Download ✓ We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle | by ✓ Celia Rivenbark
    Posted by:Celia Rivenbark
    Published :2020-02-12T03:45:40+00:00